Looking for Silver linings in a Emotionally Clouded Life-sky

Hello dear readers,

My deepest apologies for the extensive gap between my last blog post on Friday the 10^th October and the one I post today, I know it could have seemed worrying after the content of my last blog but I am still here*.  

Continuing on in that vein of honesty however, I have found it exceptionally difficult to write and share parts of my life with you all when I have been having some personal issues (which I won’t be speaking about here as some aspects of my life are not really for the public critique as I hope you’ll all understand and even appreciate) that affected my mood and ability to really do anything. Plus I didn't want to misrepresent things to you dear reader that my life is all sunshine and rainbows and on the other side that it isn't all a dark well of despair (although I will admit I have been leaning to this side over the past several weeks). As often as I tend to operate in the extremes in my personality my life, as much as it can appear to me, and I think anyone’s, never fits neatly in these categories.  So I waited until my head was a little clearer and my words a little less nonsensical.

I have always tried, regardless of the situation, to look on the bright side of life, to have a balanced view and I find this exceedingly difficult to do at times but it is worth it to count your blessings. To shine a light on the darkness that we all end up walking through at one point or another and temper the outlook on life.  I forced myself to do this and whilst it doesn't negate my feelings it certainly makes me feel blessed for the positives I have in my life.

Here is a short snapshot of those silver linings I have noticed the past several weeks and been thankful for.

1. My Flatmates: I am so lucky to live with such lovely girls that are so supportive and kind. They are always here for me with chocolate, hugs. love and a listening ear and manage to brighten up my mood no matter what I'm feeling and I don't know what I'd do without them as even when we have a million things on in our own lives we make the time for each other and that's pretty amazing.Love you guys.
2.  My  friends: I feel equally blessed to be surrounded by such a special group of people here at university who brighten up long days with get-togethers, coffee trips and cuddles. They are always there without having to talk about things and I love them to pieces. Also I've had the support of friends from home how ever much they're spread out, it's been good to feel close and loved. Friends are very important to me and I treasure you all.
3.    Flowers: I love flowers and they always manage to brighten up my day as they lighten up a room, smell lovely and just generally make me smile. My friend Jess was very thoughtful and bought me this bunch that have bloomed wonderfully over the past few weeks.
4. 
   
   
     Autumn and Natural beauty: Autumn is probably my favourite season after winter as I love being able to wear cosy jumpers, jump in big piles of crunchy leaves, drink mugs of steaming hot chocolate and have walks on crisp sunny mornings. The world is so beautiful sometimes that it makes up for it when life isn't.

   

   This was a tree I found on my way home from the gym the other week, nature can be powerful as well as beautiful!

5.   My family and unexpected visits: I love my family to bits and these past weeks I have really felt the distance of that ocean which seperates us but I'm lucky to have such loving parents and siblings that send me cute cards and chat to me lots so I feel less on my own. I am so blessed to have the love and support they give me even when they can't be here to do in person. But the surprise visit of my dad last week was lovely as we got to hang out and catch up even though it was brief.

   

   Me and Dad managed to get to the Man U-Chelsea match at Old Trafford, cracking finish!

6.  The ability to travel: My railcard gets a lot of use at university and of late it hasn't been to the usual places but I love being able to just get on a train and go wherever I want. I have always loved adventures and trains so last week when I managed to combine both of these to visit one of my best friends Matt who has started university in Bath. Despite the over-beiged buildings it is a fantastic city and a wonderful time to catch up and explore a new place with an old friend. Going to have to go further north than south next time!

   

   Matt at the Crescent in Bath

7.   Sheffield: I'm blessed to live in such a wonderful city that feels like home in its own right and I love walking through the streets or just soaking up the atmosphere. It's nice to have a place that feels like your own and always has something going on. I also got to try quite a few new places such as a cute cafe called Marmadukes and I like the fact that its a city where there's still more for me to discover!
8. Counselling: If any of you have read my last blog you'll know I've struggled with depression and self-harm in the past. When I came back to Sheffield this year I was quite stressed about what second year would bring and how I would cope so I signed up for a session of counselling for a 'mental health check up' which has been fantastic as I knew it was best to take that step before things became a problem and whilst it was hard to take that step I feel blessed to have that support (especially as things have been hard lately) and space to work through things.
9.   Hugs: It sounds so simple but I love hugs. They are an instant mood booster just to feel that love and support. Whether it's a cuddle, manly back-slap or a bear hug they make my day. So thank you all of you who have given me one when I looked like I needed it and those who haven't said no when I've asked for one.
10. Taylor Swift: This lady is such an inspiration to me and her new album is the boost I needed. I've got it on repeat and that's how it's going to stay for the next while. Music is one of those constants in life that just seem to say what you can't express and give you a verbal hug. I recommend a listen or just that you find some tunes that speak to you and make you smile.

Looking at this list makes me smile and smiling is good for the soul folks! I will try to keep looking for the silver linings in life  no matter how down I get or how stressed I am over assessments. I promise to make up for the missed weeks with another blog post soon but in the meantime I wonder what your silver linings are? How do you cheer yourself up when life gets you down?

As always I love you all,

Megan xo

*Apologies for not responding individually to comments regarding my last blog post that were posted on here or on Facebook.  I have read each message, comment and text that was sent to me in response to that blog post and I cannot adequately represent- as verbose as I am- how thankful, touched, and blessed by your words of encouragement, support and love. I am blessed to know you all and overwhelmed by the response my simple ‘confession’ produced. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.