Sexism and Why It Sickens Me
Hello my dear readers,
I hope this blog post finds you well and refreshed.
Since my last post I have been having a grand old time with my little sister Eve as she has been visiting me in Sheffield as a post-birthday treat. It has been great to show her round some of my favourite haunts and make myself relax a bit too. This has also provided ample opportunity for my childish side to emerge through trips for gelato and excursions to the park, which has made me very happy :)
For this blog post I would like to share with you some of my recent musings around the topic of sexism and particularly the area of objectification.
(As per usual I would like to state this is entirely my own opinion on the subject, I have never billed this blog as oracular and I'm not going to start now. I do however think it is an important topic to discuss.)
It came to the forefront of my mind a couple of weeks ago when me and my friend Nicola went for Hot Chocolate at our new favourite Sheffield haunt Gelato Original (I will end up mentioning it on most blog posts and make no apologies for that!). It was packed in there as they had an offer on so we were glad when we managed to find a free table. We were not so glad with the seating arrangement in packed quarters when we realised the derogatory conversation we had to endure overhearing.
I like to consider myself a very tolerant person but these lads were very lucky that they left when they did as mine and Nicola's fury levels were reaching fever pitch and I was about to have words with them.
Why was I so offended you may ask? It was because we had the misfortune to be subjected to listening to a group of 5 lads ruthlessness reduce a female who they were discussing to the sum of her physical parts not just "she's fit" and move on but an in depth critique of her breasts etc which as females listening to this we felt as horrified as this girl would've been if she had to sit there and listen to them talk about her. It made my skin crawl and blood boil.
This was not 'banter' or 'lad culture' or whatever apologetic label you want to slap on it but to me it was sexism. They were objectifying this girl and placing value only on her physical qualities and sexual appeal.
There are many areas of sexism, both relating to discrimination of females and males based on their gender, and all of which are wrong and should be worked on to be eradicated to have a more equal society. It is this objectification though that has struck me lately as a major problem.
I personally support campaigns such as 'No More Page 3' as I feel the world media projects this objectification of female/male bodies that stem from this attitude of commenting on parts of their body and idealising this beyond anything else that I had to overhear the other day.
As 20 year old female I have been subjected to this already in my lifetime with wolf whistling across the street by older men and the like and this has never made me feel attractive or womanly but objectified and harassed.
I know I am not the only one to feel this way either and it is certainly not a female only problem as I know people that rate guys completely on their looks and dissect their biceps, butts and cheekbones.
We are all also a little bit guilty I think as well of objectifying celebrities and thinking it's okay because we don't know them. But whenever this crosses over into the only think we admire about them rather than their skill, work they do or their actual personality this just serves to reinforce the way we feel it's okay to treat other human beings around us based on their gender and physical attributes.
It's not.
I for one openly invite you to tell me off if you ever hear me objectifying anyone because it's degrading at letting it happen on an everyday basis in a simple throwaway comment unchallenged feeds in the wider problem over sexism that is ingrained into our culture.
No-one should ever have to be subjected to listening to the conversation I had to the other day, or be talked about based on their physical characteristics, be objectified or witness the daily encouragement in culture and coffee shops of sexism in all its forms.
Next time I overhear this kind of talk I'm going to say something because there is a fine line between a joke and discrimination. For me even if it's subtle and humorous or outrageously degrading I'd rather make things awkward and question people about it, try and change things than remain quiet with this sick feeling in my stomach.
So I'm not sorry if this blog post offends because I think this sexism and objectification is something to be spoken about, even with my ineloquent words, rather than silenced.
On a more cheerful note head back here soon for the last March instalment of my blog which will be my third alphabetical one covering the letters E and F. Bet you can't wait to find out what the stand for! Well it won't be long know until you know.
Until then much figurative love to you all,
M x
Song of the Post: I'm A Believer from the Shrek Soundtrack
I hope this blog post finds you well and refreshed.
Since my last post I have been having a grand old time with my little sister Eve as she has been visiting me in Sheffield as a post-birthday treat. It has been great to show her round some of my favourite haunts and make myself relax a bit too. This has also provided ample opportunity for my childish side to emerge through trips for gelato and excursions to the park, which has made me very happy :)
For this blog post I would like to share with you some of my recent musings around the topic of sexism and particularly the area of objectification.
(As per usual I would like to state this is entirely my own opinion on the subject, I have never billed this blog as oracular and I'm not going to start now. I do however think it is an important topic to discuss.)
It came to the forefront of my mind a couple of weeks ago when me and my friend Nicola went for Hot Chocolate at our new favourite Sheffield haunt Gelato Original (I will end up mentioning it on most blog posts and make no apologies for that!). It was packed in there as they had an offer on so we were glad when we managed to find a free table. We were not so glad with the seating arrangement in packed quarters when we realised the derogatory conversation we had to endure overhearing.
I like to consider myself a very tolerant person but these lads were very lucky that they left when they did as mine and Nicola's fury levels were reaching fever pitch and I was about to have words with them.
Why was I so offended you may ask? It was because we had the misfortune to be subjected to listening to a group of 5 lads ruthlessness reduce a female who they were discussing to the sum of her physical parts not just "she's fit" and move on but an in depth critique of her breasts etc which as females listening to this we felt as horrified as this girl would've been if she had to sit there and listen to them talk about her. It made my skin crawl and blood boil.
This was not 'banter' or 'lad culture' or whatever apologetic label you want to slap on it but to me it was sexism. They were objectifying this girl and placing value only on her physical qualities and sexual appeal.
There are many areas of sexism, both relating to discrimination of females and males based on their gender, and all of which are wrong and should be worked on to be eradicated to have a more equal society. It is this objectification though that has struck me lately as a major problem.
I personally support campaigns such as 'No More Page 3' as I feel the world media projects this objectification of female/male bodies that stem from this attitude of commenting on parts of their body and idealising this beyond anything else that I had to overhear the other day.
As 20 year old female I have been subjected to this already in my lifetime with wolf whistling across the street by older men and the like and this has never made me feel attractive or womanly but objectified and harassed.
I know I am not the only one to feel this way either and it is certainly not a female only problem as I know people that rate guys completely on their looks and dissect their biceps, butts and cheekbones.
We are all also a little bit guilty I think as well of objectifying celebrities and thinking it's okay because we don't know them. But whenever this crosses over into the only think we admire about them rather than their skill, work they do or their actual personality this just serves to reinforce the way we feel it's okay to treat other human beings around us based on their gender and physical attributes.
It's not.
I for one openly invite you to tell me off if you ever hear me objectifying anyone because it's degrading at letting it happen on an everyday basis in a simple throwaway comment unchallenged feeds in the wider problem over sexism that is ingrained into our culture.
No-one should ever have to be subjected to listening to the conversation I had to the other day, or be talked about based on their physical characteristics, be objectified or witness the daily encouragement in culture and coffee shops of sexism in all its forms.
Next time I overhear this kind of talk I'm going to say something because there is a fine line between a joke and discrimination. For me even if it's subtle and humorous or outrageously degrading I'd rather make things awkward and question people about it, try and change things than remain quiet with this sick feeling in my stomach.
So I'm not sorry if this blog post offends because I think this sexism and objectification is something to be spoken about, even with my ineloquent words, rather than silenced.
On a more cheerful note head back here soon for the last March instalment of my blog which will be my third alphabetical one covering the letters E and F. Bet you can't wait to find out what the stand for! Well it won't be long know until you know.
Until then much figurative love to you all,
M x
Song of the Post: I'm A Believer from the Shrek Soundtrack
An interesting article, that I would like to discus.
ReplyDeleteWe can all agree sexism and discrimination are wrong. I however take issue with your broad definition of objectification. It depends on what "objectifying" means. If a man gets turned on when he sees a female stranger walking down the street, he's objectifying her. Strictly speaking, he is. Since he knows nothing about her, he can't view her as a full-blown person. He knows nothing about her personality, intelligence, talents or morals. If he's a straight male, he's also probably having an involuntary reaction. He simply is going to see her as a nice pair of legs, a nice ass, or a nice pair of tits.
Unfortunately for your lads at the Cafe they are merely discussing the involuntary reaction they were having. It is not only them that have discussions like this. Unfortunately, the female body will always be a thing of beauty to men (more so I feel than the male body to females). This fuelled by the media and women themselves cashing in on there beautiful exterior means I do not blame these boys for saying what they have said; merely I would advise to have the discussion more privately to save face.
I would be interested in hearing your response to this.
Dear Anonymous,
DeleteThank you very much for taking the time to read and comment on my blog post. Apologies for the delay in replying.
The thing is whilst I hope we can all agree sexism and discrimination are wrong I don't actually think that is the case as some people don't actually view their actions as contributing to the broader problem of sexism.
I would also like to say that you are fully within your rights to have your own opinion and definiton of what constitues objectification. What I have expressed in this blog post is my own BRIEF views on the issue, I could easily sit and right a more nuanced and specific post on the variety of objectification but within the space I had I decided to bring the issue up in a more broad term to be able to voice and think about the issue not offer the final word on it.
I don't think I would go as far as to condemn every male/female who has a bodily reaction to seeing someone attractive as that is not something that can be combated and is a natural physical response. My issue is with the thoughts and dialogue that surrounds this. When that bodily reaction is then reinforced into viewing them and talking about them only in relation to that response they've had on you is objectification after that moment has passed because you're not noticing for instance their smile or laugh or the book they were carrying or so on.
In my view those guys weren't discussing an involuntary reaction but continuing to inscribe and dwell on a lustful outlook that reduced a women to just her parts. There is a difference between admiring someone and objectifying them and that's in the language used which was in this case highly offensive.
Yes there is a problem with the media and their presentation of the male/female bodies (equally in my view) but that doesn't give an excuse for anyone to objectify just because society says you can, they are just as capable of making up their own minds and seeing that kind of portrayal as offensive not an example or excuse to behave in a way that suits them.
I don't state that I'm an oracle on the subject but that's my view.
Thank you for your thoughts.
I feel no shame in my feelings of lust for women. I suppose that if I thought they were ONLY good for sex, that would be an issue. I have an beautiful wife, and I have two daughters. I love women. they are an inextricable part of my life. I love what these women bring to my world. but god, I love looking at women. they’re just amazing. It’s part of my biological make up to think that they’re beautiful. Is that objectifying them? Maybe, maybe not. I just love them. and at some point men will have the same feelings for my daughters. If that comes with a respect for the beautiful people that they are, then I think that lust is part of a beautiful package.
ReplyDeleteDear Anonymous,
DeleteThank you for taking the time to read my blog post and commenting as well. Apologies for taking a while to reply to your comment.
My issue here is not with lust but objectification. You can have lust with someone you love and care about, you can lust after a friend/someone appreciating their physical beauty and their other non-physical qualities and interests, their strength, their laugh and so on. Beauty and bodies are not the be all and end all. I am not saying this to ignore that people are beautiful physical but as you say this not the be all and end all.
I think finding someone beautiful, as you say, is not objectifying someone but when you look at someone with only lust and carnal appreciation of the body that is reductive . Recognising beauty is not just an external concept is key to overcoming objectification.
I think that the respect you identify is key as well because if you truly respect someone of either gender you will never want to place them in a position where you are objectifying them, because that is disrespectful.
Women and men are so much more than their bodies and I guess with this blog post I just wanted to encourage people to think about how they talk about others, the effect that has and to re-evaluate their focus on what is important. To see people as whole not objects.
Thank you very much for your comments.