September Shenanigans, The Ninth Alphabetical Instalment and The Start of Third Year
'Sup blog readers?
Hope you are all faring well. Surprisingly enough since I landed back on English soil at the end of the first week of September I have not really had many quiet moments to stop, relax and write this blog post. Then I suddenly realised there's only a few days of the month left and I better fill you all in on what I've been up to. So here we go.
1. Saying Goodbye to Italy- As as of you who follow me on twitter or are friends with me on Facebook are sick of hearing I spent this summer Au Pairing in Italy which was a dream come true for me and despite being the most challenging surreal thing I've ever done to date it was so hard to say goodbye to my family there and the friends I'd made. I will definitely have to plan a return trip soon and despite all the tears and hugs I have Whatsapp and Skype to keep me sane and help improve my marginally-better Italian.
2. Seeing Friends- Whilst it was hard to leave Italy my return was made easier by the fact that I was welcomed home to Sheffield by the lovely Jess, Luke, and Tom with flowers and Gelato and I've gotten to spend the majority of the past month meeting up with friends I hadn't seen in months for catch up coffees and movie nights so I feel very lucky. As my Sheffield friends are like another family to me this was so special and I'm looking forward to seeing even more familiar faces in the months ahead.
3. Working - Even though a though a lot of September was fun as I was quickly immersed in friends, English weather, student bank accounts, and double bed lifestyles (one half for me and one for the laptop to binge watch GBBO) a lot of it was actually spent in training for my new job and starting it. This was exciting but a bit of a shock to the system to go from childcare to retail in the space of a few days but after this summer I know I can handle anything so I've just embraced the newness and busyness and a few weeks in now I'm really enjoying escaping the madness of degree work for helping customers. I also spent a weekend doing 2 12 hour shifts of helping new students move into accommodation. And despite the aching feet and lack of sleep this was so worth it to help make that transition a bit easier and relive my freshers nostalgia as well as being greeted by gorgeous sunrises, but I won't be volunteering to help direct traffic any time soon as that is STRESSFUL.
4. And Other Stuff - Surprisingly in amongst this all I also found time to do a bit of mentoring for new students which was so lovely to feel like I was in a position to help others as I can still remember when it was me that couldn't find my lectures or wondered what to pack to come to uni, I really don't feel that much wiser 2 years on but it's good to help how I can. I also started up my weekly 5K runs and exercise routine which was difficult at first but it has been so freeing to just get out of my head for a couple of hours a week. Other than that I've just been unpacking, doing lots of reading and planning, stressing about the future, having society meetings, consuming much pasta and cups of tea, and generally being bewildered that I'm the third and final year of my degree now?!
With the close of this first Autumnal month also brings about my ninth Alphabetical Instalment of the year (you can refresh your mind about how this series all began here) and I can't quite believe I'm only going to have 3 of them left after this. I'm not really sure where the past 9 months have gone to be fair!
Any how the two letters I have kept in my mind this month have been Q and R so I will offer you a brief reflection on them.
The Q on my poster stands for 'Question Authority'. This is something that can be enacted on a large or small scale in day to day life. Some individuals are called to this from a young age always asking their parents 'why?' and wanting in depth explanations for rules behind everything whereas others take a while to cast of the shackles of ingrained beliefs and to start questioning the accepted state of the world around them either privately or publicly. I think whatever route you end up taking being a questioning individual is important as it is only when we actively engage in thinking about the world around us, the governments, rules, accepted norms, cultural stereotypes, laws, gender boundaries, religious expression, that we actually learn who we are and what we believe rather than what 'authority' figures have spoon-fed us from when we were young. It is only when we start to question authority that we can actually change the aspects of our lives we take issue with rather than complaining to ourselves we should actively start to participate in what shapes the world we live in and hold those in authority positions accountable for their actions/lack of. But maybe that's just the rebel inside of me. Questioning is always better than blind acceptance in my view though.
And the R on my poster contains the mantra of 'Reinvent Yourself'. This is another motto which I already felt I had started work on before September's prompting but an important one to consider nonetheless. To remain in a static personality is impressive as it either means you are already very confident in who you are or you are afraid to discover it and want to remain in a safe comfort zone. For ages I was the later, fitting easy labels of 'the good girl' or 'the bookworm' and do you know what those things aren't necessarily bad but relying on simple traits to be your buffer prohibits growth and new experiences ultimately and whilst 'reinventing yourself' by all accounts DOES NOT MEAN CHANGING WHO YOU ARE it does mean being open to the possibility of change, discovering new things about what you like, being unafraid to alter your previous opinions and open up your potential. This can be enacted in physical appearance such as what I did this year with dying my hair, in terms of taste such as listening to a band you normally wouldn't, or attending a new society or discovering you actually can bake. I will be doing a more comprehensive post soon on my own struggles with identity, appearances and reinvention but until then I think don't change yourself for others but don't be afraid to expand your experience of yourself in big or little ways because it can be incredibly mood-boosting and eye-opening.
Finally, as I have now entered my third (and final) year of my English Literature degree, and (by the time I actually get round to posting this) survived my first week of the autumn semester, which has still not really hit home yet. I feel like an incredible whirlwind of enormous life changes have happened since this time a year ago, let alone the start of this actual degree program 2 years ago, and I'm still dealing with the consequences of those as well as revelling in the difference some of them have made to my life. So now standing on the precipice of a year filled with dissertation writing, career planning, 21st birthdays, graduations, even more reading and a lot of nice trips too it seems a bit incomprehensible.
I've decided after an up and down week that the only way for my brain to process all this is not to be daunted by it and just take each day on it's own, remind myself I can do anything, put on Radio 2 and just write really long To Do lists. I'm hoping this coping method will last at least until the end of October but I'll let you know. I'm definitely not that girl I was 3 years ago with her future mapped out with goals and a vague time line of events that feared the changes that could upset that.
And do you know what? That's okay. I may not have goals but I have dreams and am prepared to embrace the unexpected, maybe not gracefully but with the knowledge that it's what in your heart and how you treat those around you that make more of an impact on the world rather than the detail you can provide when asked 'What are your future plans?'
Right now my answer to that question is to be happy, to make a difference with mental health and to keep the amazing people I have in my life right now. Perspective is important folks.
Any ways that's enough moralising for one evening.
Thank you so much for your continuing dedication and patience with my blog. It still surprises me that people actually read it and it makes me so happy that you take the time to, so big thank you hugs to you all. It has also been over a year since I started Observations of a Fictional Girl and since then it has received over 3000 page-views!!! A massive thanks to each and everyone of you who have made my dream come true and supported me with this endeavour - it means the world to me.
Until the next time then my dears.
I leave you with much fictional love,
M x
Song of the Post: A Month of Saturdays - R.E.M
Hope you are all faring well. Surprisingly enough since I landed back on English soil at the end of the first week of September I have not really had many quiet moments to stop, relax and write this blog post. Then I suddenly realised there's only a few days of the month left and I better fill you all in on what I've been up to. So here we go.
 |
| Sheffield has welcomed me back beautifully and one month on it feels like the time has flown by. |
1. Saying Goodbye to Italy- As as of you who follow me on twitter or are friends with me on Facebook are sick of hearing I spent this summer Au Pairing in Italy which was a dream come true for me and despite being the most challenging surreal thing I've ever done to date it was so hard to say goodbye to my family there and the friends I'd made. I will definitely have to plan a return trip soon and despite all the tears and hugs I have Whatsapp and Skype to keep me sane and help improve my marginally-better Italian.
2. Seeing Friends- Whilst it was hard to leave Italy my return was made easier by the fact that I was welcomed home to Sheffield by the lovely Jess, Luke, and Tom with flowers and Gelato and I've gotten to spend the majority of the past month meeting up with friends I hadn't seen in months for catch up coffees and movie nights so I feel very lucky. As my Sheffield friends are like another family to me this was so special and I'm looking forward to seeing even more familiar faces in the months ahead.
3. Working - Even though a though a lot of September was fun as I was quickly immersed in friends, English weather, student bank accounts, and double bed lifestyles (one half for me and one for the laptop to binge watch GBBO) a lot of it was actually spent in training for my new job and starting it. This was exciting but a bit of a shock to the system to go from childcare to retail in the space of a few days but after this summer I know I can handle anything so I've just embraced the newness and busyness and a few weeks in now I'm really enjoying escaping the madness of degree work for helping customers. I also spent a weekend doing 2 12 hour shifts of helping new students move into accommodation. And despite the aching feet and lack of sleep this was so worth it to help make that transition a bit easier and relive my freshers nostalgia as well as being greeted by gorgeous sunrises, but I won't be volunteering to help direct traffic any time soon as that is STRESSFUL.
4. And Other Stuff - Surprisingly in amongst this all I also found time to do a bit of mentoring for new students which was so lovely to feel like I was in a position to help others as I can still remember when it was me that couldn't find my lectures or wondered what to pack to come to uni, I really don't feel that much wiser 2 years on but it's good to help how I can. I also started up my weekly 5K runs and exercise routine which was difficult at first but it has been so freeing to just get out of my head for a couple of hours a week. Other than that I've just been unpacking, doing lots of reading and planning, stressing about the future, having society meetings, consuming much pasta and cups of tea, and generally being bewildered that I'm the third and final year of my degree now?!
With the close of this first Autumnal month also brings about my ninth Alphabetical Instalment of the year (you can refresh your mind about how this series all began here) and I can't quite believe I'm only going to have 3 of them left after this. I'm not really sure where the past 9 months have gone to be fair!
Any how the two letters I have kept in my mind this month have been Q and R so I will offer you a brief reflection on them.
The Q on my poster stands for 'Question Authority'. This is something that can be enacted on a large or small scale in day to day life. Some individuals are called to this from a young age always asking their parents 'why?' and wanting in depth explanations for rules behind everything whereas others take a while to cast of the shackles of ingrained beliefs and to start questioning the accepted state of the world around them either privately or publicly. I think whatever route you end up taking being a questioning individual is important as it is only when we actively engage in thinking about the world around us, the governments, rules, accepted norms, cultural stereotypes, laws, gender boundaries, religious expression, that we actually learn who we are and what we believe rather than what 'authority' figures have spoon-fed us from when we were young. It is only when we start to question authority that we can actually change the aspects of our lives we take issue with rather than complaining to ourselves we should actively start to participate in what shapes the world we live in and hold those in authority positions accountable for their actions/lack of. But maybe that's just the rebel inside of me. Questioning is always better than blind acceptance in my view though.
And the R on my poster contains the mantra of 'Reinvent Yourself'. This is another motto which I already felt I had started work on before September's prompting but an important one to consider nonetheless. To remain in a static personality is impressive as it either means you are already very confident in who you are or you are afraid to discover it and want to remain in a safe comfort zone. For ages I was the later, fitting easy labels of 'the good girl' or 'the bookworm' and do you know what those things aren't necessarily bad but relying on simple traits to be your buffer prohibits growth and new experiences ultimately and whilst 'reinventing yourself' by all accounts DOES NOT MEAN CHANGING WHO YOU ARE it does mean being open to the possibility of change, discovering new things about what you like, being unafraid to alter your previous opinions and open up your potential. This can be enacted in physical appearance such as what I did this year with dying my hair, in terms of taste such as listening to a band you normally wouldn't, or attending a new society or discovering you actually can bake. I will be doing a more comprehensive post soon on my own struggles with identity, appearances and reinvention but until then I think don't change yourself for others but don't be afraid to expand your experience of yourself in big or little ways because it can be incredibly mood-boosting and eye-opening.
Finally, as I have now entered my third (and final) year of my English Literature degree, and (by the time I actually get round to posting this) survived my first week of the autumn semester, which has still not really hit home yet. I feel like an incredible whirlwind of enormous life changes have happened since this time a year ago, let alone the start of this actual degree program 2 years ago, and I'm still dealing with the consequences of those as well as revelling in the difference some of them have made to my life. So now standing on the precipice of a year filled with dissertation writing, career planning, 21st birthdays, graduations, even more reading and a lot of nice trips too it seems a bit incomprehensible.
I've decided after an up and down week that the only way for my brain to process all this is not to be daunted by it and just take each day on it's own, remind myself I can do anything, put on Radio 2 and just write really long To Do lists. I'm hoping this coping method will last at least until the end of October but I'll let you know. I'm definitely not that girl I was 3 years ago with her future mapped out with goals and a vague time line of events that feared the changes that could upset that.
And do you know what? That's okay. I may not have goals but I have dreams and am prepared to embrace the unexpected, maybe not gracefully but with the knowledge that it's what in your heart and how you treat those around you that make more of an impact on the world rather than the detail you can provide when asked 'What are your future plans?'
Right now my answer to that question is to be happy, to make a difference with mental health and to keep the amazing people I have in my life right now. Perspective is important folks.
Any ways that's enough moralising for one evening.
Thank you so much for your continuing dedication and patience with my blog. It still surprises me that people actually read it and it makes me so happy that you take the time to, so big thank you hugs to you all. It has also been over a year since I started Observations of a Fictional Girl and since then it has received over 3000 page-views!!! A massive thanks to each and everyone of you who have made my dream come true and supported me with this endeavour - it means the world to me.
Until the next time then my dears.
I leave you with much fictional love,
M x
Song of the Post: A Month of Saturdays - R.E.M
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